An Ode to Motherhood..

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh

The scriptures state that there are many forms of love in this world, love between siblings, love between two lovers, love between friends but it is stated that the love between the mother and child is the most purest form of love in this material world. Amma, Maa, Mummy, we use different ways to call out to our mothers but it all signifies the same relationship the same bonding which a mother shares which her child. The day she gives birth to her bundle of joy bearing all the pressures and the pain, she herself takes a new birth from a woman to a mother. I would like to dedicate my first blog to this unique relation and to my dearest mother.

I can date back to the time when I have vivid recollection of my existence. As I travel down memory lane, I see myself. a little girl in two tight long pig tails being taken to school by my dear mother. She drops me in kindergarden to be received by the smiling face of the teacher who is a known acquaintance and also the kinder teacher of my older brother. They exchange some pleasantaries and I am left under the protection of the teacher. I enter the classroom with a big smile and my mother returns back home maybe with mixed feelings, pondering on whats running in her little daughter's mind. Whilst she is pondering, her little baby is crying in class due to unknown reasons. The teacher is trying hard to pacify me but all I want at that time is my mother,I cry and cry and simply fall asleep only to be woken up by the welcoming smile of my mother. I felt so secured when she was around me that time and hopped and skipped back home with her. My face used to break into million grins and not a single day went by when my dear mother never got me blanched almonds which I used to munch and jump along.The phase of childhood when your mother is an inseparable entity, your only friend.

Not long after I enter primary school, a surge of intelligence sets in, I made many friends became more confident of the surroundings and enjoyed going to school. My dear mother still dropped me to school, being the protective self when all my friends walked alone to school or went by matadors. I often wondered and thought I can go alone to school, I know the way so well, my little but self claimed intelligent mind was talking me into going to school alone. I spoke to amma so many times but she just turnd it down. We still returned back from school together every afternoon with me hopping around and entered the local bakala (grocery store in the gulf) where she brought me a prince polo chocolate everyday. I had a 50 fils treat everyday and an occasional prince polo plus funny faces(a chips having different funny faces) treat. Come school picnic amma always gave me an assortment of options to choose in the bakala, from an array of soft drinks to pick, a prince polo bar without fail some few packs of chips of which I never missed picking up a pack of funny faces. She also sent along her own hand made sandwiches which I relished to the core. My independent self still made its appearance many a times and one afternoon while returning from school I insisted to amma that I wanted to play downstairs and inspite of repeated protests from amma I still stood firm by my decision. She took my bag and went upstairs while I waited for my friend, after a few moments of wait I decided I must return home. while climbing up the stairs I was joined by an Arab who appeared very friendly and asked me which floor a flat number existed. As I happily guided him and accompanied him till I reached my floor, he started getting too friendly which got me scared and I ran up the stairs uttering the only one word which gave me security - Amma. I was 8 years old then but was always very close to Appa and always overlooked amma while she worked away in a sublime manner in the background, looking after my every needs. I always felt amma liked my brother more than me only failing to understand how she subtly monitored me and took care of me at every step. I was growing into a tomboy and she always aspired to see me in pattu pavade and frocks while I strutted around in shorts and t-shirts. She kept designing all these beautiful outfits for me while I refused to wear them but that never deterred her from making more and also getting matching hair clips and matching bindis. Her only chance to dress me that way was every friday when I went to Bal Vihar class in Chinmaya mission where she adorned me ethnic clothes and kohl filled eyes. How I wish I could get back those days amma and be how you wanted me to be and sit by your side.

Years flew by and I entered adolescence, amma saw me growing from her small girl to a young lady. She still packed my favorite lunch to school and watched me going to high school. Often she would go and wait down at my bus stop while I got ready so that she could ask my school bus conductor to hold on for a few seconds while her daughter ever running late in time comes running down. The early onset of adolescence again saw me becoming inseparable with amma. We used to go to the nearby temple every evening for the 730 arati and sometimes saw ourselves running to be there on time. We had our evening walks together and our joint sessions at buying wada pavs from the latest wada pav joint which served delicious wada pavs. Amma saw me going through a face where I was so conscious about myself and my appearance. She talked me out of my negative thoughts about my figure by pointing out the right curves I carried. She imbibed in me positive thoughts about my appearance. As I was progressing to the higher grades in school, amma saw me elected as the asst social service prefect and she was so filled with pride seeing her daughter adorning the badge that she went and thanked my teacher for nominating me. At that moment it felt that there was no need to thank the teacher because I deserved to be there least realising amma's humble disposal and the joy she felt for me.

Years passed as I kept growing progressing from class to class and then entered college. I had a beautiful junior college life, enjoying with friends but still so close to amma. We still went for our walks and exchanged all the latest gossips about the town. As the 12th board exams approached, I worked very hard but never gave much importance for my botany subject. On the day of the exam I was too nervous and felt I would fail the exam, seeing my nervousness amma decided to accompany me to college and she sat the whole day in college till I finished attempting two subjects and she was my silent source of support.

Graduation saw me overtly independent. I had formed a great group of friends and we used to hang around together before and after college. I was going through this phase where I felt I could take good care of myself and my boldness saw no limits. I used to come considerably late from college after hanging around with my friends(late as per Indian standards). My route home saw me crossing the Khadki railway station which was considerably dark and lonely, but when I get down from the bus or the train I see amma there waiting for me in the station so that I dont need to tread home alone. So much was the subtle communication between the two of us, there was no mobile phones then and she dint know when I was to return but she used to come and wait for me at the station. I was greeted by a big warm smile and we used to walk home together.

Before long, I see I have finished my studies and I am moving to Bangalore to join Infosys and I am married. I have finished 26 years of my life with amma and now I am moving to another household. Such is the life of a girl where you have to leave your dear mother and go to another house. Amma cried a lot when she boarded the train from Bangalore to Pune after leaving me there with my husband.